When the car bomb failed to detonate in New York City’s Times Square, you had to believe the persons responsible would keep their heads down and start drawing up another plan in the cave sand. Instead, we get a press release from the Pakistani Taliban claiming responsibility.
Isn’t the first rule of gloating that you have to freaking win? Everybody knows that.
Well, maybe not everybody.
But we’ve gotten better in recent times. When we thought we killed the Pakistani Taliban leader, Hakimullah Mehsud, we gloated. We gloated because we thought we ’sploded him good. Then he turned up in a video shot after we thought we killed him. Oh well, we stopped gloating. That’s how this works.
In our defense, have you seen this guy? He’s got an adamantium skeleton! Look, here he is in his latest music video with knives shooting out of his neck all Wolverine-stylee.
I wonder if that says “Mission Accomplished” in Terrorist right behind him?
My point is this: you can only brag when you succeed. There are so many unclaimed miseries the Taliban could have put their name on. If their publicist is reading this, here are some things they might lay claim to:
• Lady Gaga’s wardrobe
• Tim Tebow being drafted by Denver
• When I stubbed my toe on my coffee table last month.
• The extinction of the Pyrenean Ibex
• Jersey Shore
• Anything directed by Alan Smithee
• William Hung
• Ewoks
• Herpes
• and Paris Hilton.
