From the category archives:

Blogs

Buttholes Are Everywhere. Just Ask Luke.

Once every few years, a website comes along that changes the world. First there was Google. Then there was Facebook. And now, Things That Look Like Buttholes.

If you’ve never before noticed that so many things look like buttholes, you will now. You can even participate, too! Sign up for a free Tumblr account and let the fun begin.

Happy Hunting!

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The PO Box - Independence Day

As is our custom, we have found ways to convolute, pollute and dilute the significance of important events. Thus, Easter is now about hidden eggs and Thanksgiving is about football and having to buy looser pants. Do we even remember the original meaning of these days? Sure! Maybe. Well, no. Eggs and turkeys, to paraphrase Morpheus, is just the world that has been pulled over our eyes to blind us to the truth.

And so it is with July 4th, our nation’s birthday. It wasn’t always about eating contests. [click to continue…]

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Ruining My New iPhone

June 23, 2010

(Blog from 2007. Let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself tomorrow. Also, sorry about the dated Chris Benoit reference. If it helps, think of it as watching an SNL rerun with Darrell Hammond doing a Clinton sketch. It probably won’t help, though.)
I am the proud owner of an Apple iPhone.
I love everything about it: the things [...]

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LOL then LMFAO in HNL

May 20, 2010
Paul Ogata at Pipeline Café, Friday July 9, 7pm

Hey Hawaii, I’m coming back for some shows! The only public show on Oahu will be Friday July 9, 8pm, at Pipeline Café! Doors open at 7pm, so you may as well come from work and have dinner at Pipeline too. New chef, new menu, good stuff.
**Update** The LMFAO concert after my show has been [...]

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How To Gloat

May 8, 2010
Hakimullah Wolverine

When the car bomb failed to detonate in New York City’s Times Square, you had to believe the persons responsible would keep their heads down and start drawing up another plan in the cave sand. Instead, we get a press release from the Pakistani Taliban claiming responsibility.
Isn’t the first rule of gloating that you [...]

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Help! I Need To Get Lost!

May 6, 2010
Help me get Lost

Once again, i’ve scheduled an overseas trip during a season finale of ABC’s Lost. Except this time, it is the series finale. The last episode in what is probably the greatest television series in the history of ever, next to The Tortellis.
And being out of the United States means I can’t even watch Lost [...]

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A Strange Death

April 21, 2010
Thumbnail image for A Strange Death

Sometimes you see the strangest stuff while on the road. Here’s the toilet paper dispenser in my hotel room at the Army’s Aberdeen Proving Ground.
What the hell? Why is it so low?
Now, I’m not the world’s tallest guy, but even I think this is ridiculous. It sits across the toilet and near the floor. Which [...]

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Lost Finale SPOILER ALERT

April 6, 2010

Lost is only my favorite show ever. EVER! So it tears me apart to know how it will end. In a bitter sweet turn of events I know someone who knows the creative geniuses behind the show. And that person has hinted to me how the series will end.
If you do not wish to ruin [...]

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The Extra Stuff

April 3, 2010
Wind-up Monster Toy!

Usually, I will do a show and just collect the check. Strictly quid pro quo. I get it, show business equals show plus business. Occasionally, however, someone throws a smiley face curve ball my way and makes my day.
I’m not even talking about the diva contract riders you hear about, demanding extras such as green [...]

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New Album Now On Sale At iTunes!

March 12, 2010
Paul Ogata Stands Up, Live In Hong Kong (front cover)

It was Aristotle that once said, “I don’t care where you go, I don’t care what you do. I don’t care pretty baby, just take me with you.” And now you can. Through the magic of teh Internets, you can now buy my new CD, “Paul Ogata Stands Up, Live in Hong Kong” online on [...]

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