Hey Guamites! Take note: new times for my Guam shows on August 6 and 7 are 7pm and 9:30pm each night.

Now go get your tickets at Shell Dededo, East Hagatna and Mangilao!

And it says that I’m coming back home to Hawaii! Less than a week until the show, so make sure you grab your tickets now. It’s going to be fun, as my friends Kento and Cathy Tanaka will be opening. I guess I should have said “Cathy Tanaka and Kento” instead, since the other way makes it seem like they are a married couple. Like Teddy and Nancy Tanaka. (No relation.) (Or is there?)

Get Your Tickets By Clicking Here. Then see you at the show on Friday, July 09, 8pm, at Pipeline Cafe.

2010 looks to be my year of doing shows on islands: Hong Kong, Singapore, Oahu, Kauai, Big Island, Maui, even Rhode Island. And now, Guam!

I haven’t been back to do shows in Guam for over a decade, so I’m really looking forward to returning. This time, I’m bringing along a very funny comedian friend with me, Cathy Tanaka. It’s going to be raw like beef kelaguen!

Join me for four shows at the luxurious Guam Marriott Resort and Spa on Friday, August 6 and Saturday, August 7. Shows at 7pm and 9:30pm each night. Tickets are only $20 ($30 VIP) and can be had at all Guam Shell Stations.

Big props to MCV Broadband. Be there. Todu Maolek!

PS
It’s going to be nice and cool then, right? I’m planning on bringing some warm jackets.

Hey Hawaii, I’m coming back for some shows! The only public show on Oahu will be Friday July 9, 8pm, at Pipeline Café! Doors open at 7pm, so you may as well come from work and have dinner at Pipeline too. New chef, new menu, good stuff.

**Update** The LMFAO concert after my show has been rescheduled for a later date. If it helps, you can think of me as LMFAO: Little, Mad Funny, Asian Orator.

Then I’m doing a show in Kona the following night and military shows around the state with Comics On Duty.

Tickets are on sale now! CLICK HERE TO BUY TICKETS ONLINE.

Pipeline Café is located at 805 Pohukaina Street, Honolulu HI 96813. Please call the club for more information at (808) 589-1999.

Hong Kong! I’m back for 5 Shows of Fury! The TakeOut Comedy Club Hong Kong might be the best club in the world. It’s where I recorded my new album, “Paul Ogata Stands Up: Live in Hong Kong.” One show at Champs in Wan Chai on Thursday at 8pm, then two shows each night on Friday and Saturday, 8pm and 10pm, at the TakeOut Comedy Club in SoHo. Call +852 6220 4436, or email jami@takeoutcomedy.com for tickets. See you there.

I guess my call sign would be “Xenu.” After all, “Jester” was taken. And since Pete Mitchell stole John McCain’s call sign, it’s only fair.

I’m back doing shows for a couple of weeks with Comics On Duty. Bringing smiles again to the brave men and women who serve in our country’s military. COD executive producer Rich Davis works non-stop to ensure that these patriots get a little bit of much-needed respite. I am, as always, completely grateful for the chance to be a part of this program. For a complete list of shows, please visit my schedule. If you are in the military and can make it to any of the shows, please stop by so I can thank you in person.

Hopefully, this time I will not be attacked by a “Stealth Wall.”

Back-to-back nights of back-to-back shows in San Diego! The Comedy Palace has great food, too. I love the Greek salad with gyros strips.

But best of all, it’s a kick ass club and great place to watch comedy. If you were at the last show, you know it was pandemonium. So don’t miss out this time, get your tickets now. Call the club at 858-573-9067!

The Comedy Palace is at 8878 Clairemont Mesa Boulevard, San Diego, CA 92123.

You probably drove to a Super Bowl party at a friend’s house or a bar, and maybe put on the store-bought jersey of your favorite team. I did something like that, except I hopped on a plane, tail-hooked onto an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean and put on a Super Bowl championship ring!

Let me tell you about my crazy-ass Super Bowl weekend.

It began Friday night when I met up with fellow comedians Tom Foss and Steve Simeone, along with Comics On Duty honcho Rich Davis, and sacked out in a San Diego hotel awaiting an early morning pick up by the US Navy. The hotel had a piano bar, which apparently is the old-people substitute for karaoke. It allows the geriatric to belt out hits of the 70’s. Most likely the 1870’s. I couldn’t recognize any of the songs. But man did the seniors love them some ancient tunes. And that’s awesome, because it probably reminded them of the good old days when they sat around the fire in animal pelts, inventing music.

Despite this scarring of my inner ear tissue, I managed to hear my alarm at 5 in the morning. We were then escorted onto Naval Air Station North Island and crammed into a C2-A Greyhound along with some players and staff from the Green Bay Packers.

Tail-hooking onto a moving aircraft carrier is, I imagine, one of the most difficult things to do in the world for a pilot (and big props to ours). At the same time, it is also one of the craziest fun things to experience. You go from 150mph to zero in just a couple of seconds. Captain Kuzmick gave us certificates, marking our induction into the club of tailhookers, but that was unnecessary as I already made my own certificate in my underwear. The take-off is nuts as well. Steam-powered catapults fling you off the end of a too-short runway that makes you feel just like Alfre Woodard getting sucked into the sky in The Forgotten. But with much better dialog and acting. I strongly suggest you join the Navy in hopes that you might be able to experience this. Either that, or be like me and tell fart jokes.

The US Navy flew us out there to entertain the sailors for Super Bowl weekend. Take a look at that gigantic inflatable big-screen in the picture at the top of this post. Only in the Navy will your TV become a floatation device in case of emergency.

Mason Crosby headed up the Packer delegation. Mason scored more points in his first two years in the NFL than any other rookie in league history. Also on board: punter Jeremy Kapinos, fullback John Kuhn, and staff members Red Batty and T-Bone Bakken. Head trainer Pepper Burruss was with the team since 1993, and he brought along some serious bling. And of course, I just had to try them on.

Kuhn has a ring from his year in Pittsburgh, and Red’s got one from his 16 years with Green Bay as well. Red even has a ring from the CFL Grey Cup championship! There hasn’t been so much gold and diamonds on a ship since the days of Captain Jack Sparrow. Which is so long ago that old people in San Diego know songs from that time.

Back in January of 2009, some friends and I put on some freshly ironed clothes and shot a cable television comedy special for the Showtime network. They said it would air sometime this year. Well, the people at Showtime ain’t no liars! Turns out it is airing the last possible day of this year. You can catch the premiere on Showtime at 8:00 PM on New Year’s Eve. The original title of the show was “Edwin San Juan’s SlantEd Comedy”, but was changed to “Edwin San Juan’s Pacific Rim Comedy.” The logic being that while there are sinister, racist connotations to the word “Slant”, only wholesome images are associated with the word “Rim.” (/sarcasm)

So let this be a lesson that you should not do time-sensitive material on a television program for which you do not have an exact air date. I can’t remember how many Inauguration jokes I did. But really, one is too many at this point. Thank goodness it airs on a night when alcohol may impair your judgment on how old my jokes are.

Here are the scheduled air dates:

On Showtime
12/31/09 at 8:00 PM

On Showtime 2
01/03/10 at 3:30 AM

On Showtime Showcase
01/04/10 at 4:45 AM

On Showtime Showcase
01/09/10 at 4:30 AM

On Showtime Showcase
01/12/10 at 1:35 AM

Which means that if you don’t see it on New Year’s Eve, you kind of have to be on crystal meth to see subsequent showings. You can also catch it on Showtime On Demand from January 1 through January 28. Huh? Not the 29th? What if you demand it?

Anyway, there you go. Tune in and watch me and my friends Edwin San Juan, Joey Guila, Bernadette Balagtas, Ron Josol and Dan Gabriel.

As a stand-up comic, one thing you will hear often is how brave audiences think you are, just because you get up in front of strangers and speak. But really, if you want to find some truly brave people, look no further than the nearest US military base.

Some countries require every citizen to serve in the military, but America’s army is comprised solely of men and women who make a conscious decision to put their lives on the line. That is bravery. And so it is with Fort Riley, Kansas, home of the 1st Infantry Division aka The Big Red One. The division has been on multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, and its 2nd Brigade just returned from the Gulf.

Three other comedians and I are on a Comics On Duty tour of Midwest military bases, including Fort Riley. Riley is located on picturesque, rolling country hills belying the extreme danger its soldiers are trained to confront. I suppose returning to Fort Riley and its idyllic surroundings is a nice respite from doing all the hard work and heavy lifting of the country.

As I said, I believe these people are the brave ones, not me. I make sure to tell them so and express my gratitude at the shows. Then the Garrison Commander and the commanding officer of the 2nd Brigade (Dagger Brigade) presented me with these coins:

They’re called challenge coins, you may have seen them in movies. Or maybe you are in the military and have received one yourself. With firm handshake, the full bird Colonel told me that we performed functions equally important by helping lift the morale of the troops, then presented these challenge coins. Pretty heavy moment, and I could see where he’s coming from. But in the end, I believe we are fine with the number of jesters we have, and could easily use more folks like these soldiers at Fort Riley: protectors, heroes, humanitarians and patriots.

Thank you Big Red One, I will keep these coins with me always. (Especially since it was explained to me that now as a coin-holder, I have to buy everyone a round of drinks should I be challenged to produce my coin and be unable to do so. Sneaky!)