If you thought the Beijing Olympics mascots were wack, get a load of the Vancouver 2010 mascots.
Why do these things look like Hello Kitty friends from Sanrio? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you either have no females in your life under the age of 40, or you are Amish. Even the Taliban know about Hello Kitty. Mullah Omar once said, “Hello Kitty? More like Infidel Whore Kitty! Cover your ankles, harlot! At least My Melody wears proper Hijab.”
The mascots for these Canadian games are Miga, Quatchi and Sumi.
Miga, according to the Vancouver 2010 website, is “part killer whale and part bear.” Miga please.
Quatchi, as you might guess, is a sasquatch. Or a Taliban. Whatever, it is really hairy. But if he is a sasquatch, he is the world’s shittiest sasquatch, as he needs earmuffs to live in the cold. Plus, he has a tattoo. Check out the ink on his shoulder. Reppin’ your hood with a tat? That’s gangsta. Sasqueeeotch!
And finally, Sumi. Sumi is the mascot for the Paralympics. He wears a helmet. WTF!
On the other hand, it’s better than whatever we came up with for Atlanta in 1996. I give you Izzy the Whatizit:
Mullah Omar would poke his good eye out if he ever saw this.
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