You tend to lose a lot of freedoms under religious governments.
A tourist couple visiting the United Arab Emirates were arrested for having sex before marriage when a doctor discovered the woman was pregnant.
Meanwhile, here in America, the Supreme Court (dominated by right wing religious zealots) just this year moved to strike down settled law which allowed women’s right to bodily autonomy.
And now comes the infuriating coda to the unfortunate tale of one of the world’s greatest spots for live standup comedy, The Crackhouse Comedy Club in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Earlier this year, a woman performing at the club’s open mic posted a video of her set in which she allegedly insulted Islam, the official religion of Malaysia. This caused some people to loudly complain, which drew the attention of the corruption-laden government, who in turn seized upon this furor to distract from the ongoing clusterhump that is their well established status quo.
The government went so far as to arrest my friend, comedian and Crackhouse co-founder Rizal van Geyzel for sedition. SEDITION! Here in the USA, we had a live TV broadcast of someone commit actual sedition by instructing people to do real-deal insurrection, and the cameras followed them to the nation’s Capitol where these people committed said insurrection and a whole bunch of other crimes AND NOT A DAMN THING WAS DONE TO THE GUY WHO DID THE SEDITION.
So I guess you still have the freedom to be seditious in the States. Enjoy!
But back to The Crackhouse. It wasn’t a gleaming, shiny palace with giant neon signage outside. To the contrary, it was tucked away in a nondescript block of bars and restaurants above a German tavern. You’d miss it if you weren’t looking for it. If you were looking for it and found it, however, you were treated to an amazing night for all your senses. From the vibrant walls covered in graffiti by local artists, to the delicious fresh made jaffles (grilled cheese for my fellow Yanks) to the domestic and international line-ups of comics.
And what line-ups they were. Always great comics. It’s the kind of place you’d see world-class killers mixing in with hot homegrown talent, in several different languages. The low ceilings guaranteed that the laughter would reverberate and ricochet until your ears were ringing. Hell, one night when I was there, Malaysia’s former deputy prime minister (and future PM) came to the show and it was an epic good time. Nobody complained.
Of course, after digging up dirt, I mean “investigating” my friend Rizal, the authorities discovered the bar was operating with a restaurant license and not an entertainment license. So yesterday, they BANNED HIM FOR LIFE FROM EVER HAVING A BUSINESS IN KUALA LUMPUR. I capitalized the entire phrase because it is that astonishingly egregious. Something you’ll see a few more times here.
Maybe have them file for the proper license? Nope. How about focus on how another former PM is on the cusp of overturning a conviction for STEALING 4.5 BILLION DOLLARS, so that he can become PM again? Don’t be silly. (It bears mentioning that this former PM’s bodyguards were sentenced to death for MURDERING A MONGOLIAN MODEL WITH C4 PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES. I’m not even making that up. It’s the kind of shit that happens there. But tell me again how entertainment licenses are the problem.)
What sums all of this up perfectly was a sign I once saw outside a day spa next to my hotel in Kuala Lumpur. The very large sign touted a procedure offering “VAGINAL TIGHTENING CREAM.” Ah, Malaysia, a place where ineffective pricks will look for someone else to blame for their problems.
